If You Can’t Love The One You’re With
(Love The Ring Rat)
By Dana Hall
Published in 2001
I am once again saddened by news of my husband’s going to Japan to wrestle for New Japan Wrestling, along with the newest edition of National Examiner, which has once again been an embarrassment to my children and myself. We had hoped that his recent time in jail would have been something to motivate him to make some changes in his life, but his denial is too deep and he is still continuing to blame me for the life he has chosen, and actions he has taken. It is a shame he still chooses to excuse, justify, deceive and deny what he needs to face, and continues to blame others for what he has done to himself. The common denominator in all of his problems has been alcohol and drugs. This is what he needs to accept and deal with. Denial will not make this addiction go away, and things will only get worse for everyone involved with him. This has been increasingly difficult for the children and I and we are trying our best to deal with the daily disappointment and embarrassment Scott has brought upon us.
[ad#MikeMooneyham-336×280]I am so upset that these companies continue to employ him while in the midst of this chaos and serious addiction problems which he has yet to address in any real way. WWF and WCW have for years looked the other way and enabled his addictions and behavior, as well as that of so many other wrestlers, and Scott has only gotten worse. It is so sad to read of the many men who have died in the last five years. These companies have created monsters and then they refuse to accept responsibility. This is unacceptable and something should be done. Wrestling, drugs and alcohol have destroyed my husband, my marriage and my family as well as many, many others. Children have lost their fathers because money and ratings take priority. In 1998 I fought with WCW while they used my husband’s real alcoholism as a storyline. They used his addiction to help them make money and enable his behavior. They looked the other way not only with him but with several, if not all, their top guys for years and years. Their drug-testing policy and behavior code is a joke which they only use to their advantage when they see fit. In proving how sick Scott is, he went along with this right down to wearing shirts with alcoholic comments about himself and “Yo” martini glasses. Does anyone see anything wrong with this?
These men don’t do this as a job, it becomes a “lifestyle.” Many become their alter ego because they do not know the difference between fantasy and reality anymore. These men leave their homes and live a second life that is like one big gigantic bachelor party. I have seen it myself. Then they come home and wonder why their wives are unhappy and their lives are falling apart. They are only required as far as I know to do their “acting” in the ring and in front of the camera. If they could realize that that is where they should leave it and conduct themselves as the husbands and fathers they are, they would avoid so many problems. If wrestling is supposed to be “fake” then why does it so often portray the “real” lives of these men?
How come you can’t tell the difference on and off the camera? What they pretend to be is all too real. Most do not know where to draw the line. I know Scott still doesn’t know who he is, and he has never been able to be him, a husband to me and a father to our children. We never came first because he was obsessed by wrestling, his ego and money. This is what wrestling perpetuates – destruction. Scott Hall is proof of that and still after all that has happened wrestling comes first. Before his sobriety, or us.[ad#MikeMooneyham-468×15]
When Scott and I remarried in March of 1999 I had so hoped that he would keep his promises to me and the children. He has been unable to do this. He has never been able to remain faithful, another thing wrestlers seem to have a hard time with. Infidelity is a daily occurrence among the guys, while their motto is “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the ring rat, the topless dancer, the Nitro ring girl you’re with.” A marriage cannot survive wrestling for long. They justify their infidelities with the reasoning that they are providing for their families. But how does this make any sense when what you say you were doing for your family causes the destruction of it? How these “men” (and I use this word loosely) live with themselves is beyond me. I guess the conscience is the first thing to go when you become a wrestler. It is so sad how these men, how my husband, have hurt the people who love them the most and have destroyed the lives of their children.
These “women” (and I use that word loosely), who don’t even care that these men are married and obviously don’t have any respect for themselves, I also hold accountable. I pray for them to get a life and a clue. Let me assure them that what goes around, comes around. God is a just God. Do these men realize that this is the most disrespectful and hurtful thing they can do to their wife and the mother of their children? Do they understand their choice to be unfaithful forever changes the future of their children? Not to mention the example it sets for them.
Even now as I remain committed to this marriage in the midst of this and another pending divorce, Scott continues his blatant adultery and hurtful actions toward myself and the children. In his sickness, he has put them in danger while he has drank and drove, he has accused me of being mentally and emotionally unstable, he has neglected his children for months while he hangs out in bars, jails and with his latest bimbo of the month. At the present time he is unable to see his children unsupervised because he is unsafe. He has not seen his children for over two months or called them in over a month, not even on Christmas. He has neglected to pay for their much-needed counseling as the judge ordered over three months ago, or to provide health insurance for them. He says he loves and cares about his children but his actions have never been as such. Destroying their lives and hurting their mother does not show “love.” I wish he loved them enough to get well and to stop denying. He stood in the courthouse in December and shouted to everyone who happened to be in the hallway for everybody to suck his —-!” hand actions and all. His behavior is so out of control and he is in need of help.